LISA F.
Lisa is a new parent of color and is excited about becoming involved in her child’s new school community. In the midst of discarding invitations to Students of Color meetings, Lisa receives notification for a school meeting featuring parents of her child’s entire grade and staff. As Lisa walks into the room, she finds that she is one of very few parents of color present. No one acknowledges her presence at all. In fact, all of the parents and staff are conversing in their own small groups. Although Lisa greets groups, no one really seems genuinely interested in holding a conversation with her. Not only does she feel isolated but she discourages herself from attending more events because she feels unappreciated and ignored. Her mind then regresses back to her young child and she asks herself “Is this what my child feels like on a daily basis?”
“As a new parent, and today as an older parent I still feel somewhat intimidated and left out of the equation when it comes to meetings. I guess the same could be said for all parents, white and those of color. But when you add to this equation the dynamics of race and ethnicity it seems a bit more glaring. I had to challenge myself to be uncomfortable but show up anyway. Participating in affinity groups helped me because I was now part of a majority, and that felt good, safe, and familiar. Affinity group events/meetings helped me to recharge my confidence and authentically participate among the general population at school events.”
– Janet S.
AMY LI Y.
Amy, is a parent of color whose child has been enrolled at the lower school for 2 years. She receives her child’s first semester grade report and for the first time is unable to understand the grading system as it relates to her child’s advancement in class. Not only is she having difficulty understanding what her child’s progress is, she is annoyed when she thinks about the timing of the report. She feels like it is too late to seek academic help for her child if needed. She is uncomfortable about approaching the teacher because she English is her second language, she does not want to acknowledge that she does not understand grading system, and more importantly does not want to offend a teacher.
“If I won’t advocate for my child who will is my thinking. What I have experienced is that although my daughter’s teacher is the most direct line of communication I am also able to seek the advice and counsel of the dean, perhaps the assistant head or even the head of the school if it help create a more comfortable and successful environment for partnering with my school to help guide my child’s progress. To tell you the truth I think teachers and administrators also fell awkward when a parent calls for a meeting, but in the end everyone gains more knowledge and my child knows she has my full support despite my fears.”
– Liz R.
BRIAN L.
One morning during breakfast, Brian asks his son if he has made any new friends yet. Brian slowly shakes his head and seems to have lost his appetite. His son excuses himself from the table and goes to his room. Brain is flustered that 5 months after beginning middle school at an independent school he has still not adjusted socially. Brian begins to think the reason why his son cannot make new friends is because he looks different, has a different cultural experience and does not live in the same neighborhood as many of his classmates. Brian and his wife decide to enroll their son in outside community activities that would naturally support development of meaningful friendships. But, Brian still wants to help his son bond at school.
“My son found it tough to adjust in middle school when he transferred. We knew he was the quiet academic type that would never be the athlete so I was concerned that he would not make friends easily. We are so busy with work that it is hard to learn about resources to support our son with creating social networks in or out of the school. We are happy to learn that RIISE will provide virtual support connecting us with resources to consider like student events, affinity groups or the local chess club right in our community.”
– Hector S.
AVA J.
One evening as Ava returned home after working long hours, she receives and unexpected call from her child’s school. She rushes to the phone and picks it up. As she listens, she finds out that the call was a fundraising call from her daughter’s school. Now, Ava wishes she never picked up the phone. She says to herself that she has no money to contribute to her child’s school, and becomes annoyed when she thinks to herself the school should know she couldn’t afford to donate because her children receive financial aid.
“The stigma of financial aid can be daunting at times on so many levels, particularly when most assume that if you are of color you receive financial aid. My husband and I lost his job last year and for the first time we had to ask for assistance to continue on at the school. It was a humbling experience, but I realized that with out it not only would my child not remain but the school would be minus a talented student like our son. I can’t give to the school like I use to but I do realize the empowerment of donating money and time. Our name is still recognized on the annual report even though our gift is considerably less.”
– Asana I.
Calhoun Raises Expectations
